“DC Celebrity” – UNCENSORED

Posted by admin on May 25th, 2010 and filed under celeb | 25 Comments »

By popular demand, here’s my uncensored performance at the 15th Annual Funniest Celebrity in Washington contest at the DC Improv.

Warning: you may be slightly offended! Or not . . .

Filmed by Emily on 9/10/08.

LYRICS

Secret Muslim terrorist politicians in house say ho!!!

I’m here ’cause David Shuster had to be replaced
‘Cause his cable network just got disgraced
His convention coverage was a bit amiss
And so apparently it comes down to this!

I rep the P O L I T I C O
Practice every day to perfect the flow
And yeah times are tough, but I thought you should know
We’re the only newspaper that continues to grow?

Oops, did I touch a nerve?
Journalism’s in the and youre all disturbed
I might lose my job but hey, I don’t sweat
Because I made my name on the Internet!

DC Celebrity
I don’t think I am one but this drink was free?

Every other contestant here is a joke
Bob Barr? Yeah good luck with the pothead vote
And Grover Norquist? Man I’m not trying to be mean
I thought your tax policy WAS your standup routine!?

Huck you won Iowa 8 months ago
And now you’re here telling jokes at a comedy show
It’s just survival of the fittest I don’t mean to be rude
But NOW do you believe in evolution dude?

And every other contestant’s male white and old
So turn up your hearing aid ya ’bout to get told
I could be your intern, could be your grandson
But tonight you’re gonna recognize I’m number one!

DC Celebrity
I just insulted Mike Huckabee!

Been on the campaign trail a year or more
And there are only three things that I know for sure
McCain is old. Obama’s black
And if you mention either one you bound to get smacked!

Obama picked Biden to be his VP
Because he wanted a change in foreign policy
The guy served six terms and I hate to rant
But the only thing he changed was his hair implants!

McCain picked the Governor of Alaska
So there’s just one question I have to ask ya
If she got a bangin body that wed all wanna hit
Does that negate the fact that she dont know shit?

DC Celebrity
Please don’t throw your drinks at me!

Duration : 0:4:46


[youtube WlSLFInsBi4]

25 Responses

  1. humanumgenus Says:

    I am lorenzo …
    I am lorenzo scarola and you promise to pray with you in spirit and you get many favors celestia, every Monday from 20.00 to 21.00 (until the end of the world)for peace, prosperity, because, 40 Jewish bankers of seigniorage, have stolen the monetary sovereignty
    YOUTUBE will raise the level of its business, when all of ignominies: go on
    And we, we have to stay here peacefully together with our children Search humanumgenus Playlist “musica celeste”
    God bless you Please spread this message ALLELUIA

  2. bigbadsexydad Says:

    did anyone notice …
    did anyone notice this guys so stupid that no one in the audience is laughing so he has to put in back ground laughter I mean it really isnt that funny

  3. lastnametea Says:

    Soo funny! you’re …
    Soo funny! you’re really good!

  4. MooseOfReason Says:

    Lawl 2:20 – “Huck! …
    Lawl 2:20 – “Huck! Huck! What!?!”

    Hahahahaha.

  5. priceandpride Says:

    you looked like you …
    you looked like you were in a battle.. pacing so much. i liked it though. then the dropped mike like Chappelle would do – class!

  6. 12thLeveIWizardKing Says:

    Dude, that was …
    Dude, that was really good! haha!

  7. MooseOfReason Says:

    Dude, that was …
    Dude, that was funny.

  8. forksofpower Says:

    ooh look who won
    ooh look who won

  9. GigiInc Says:

    Very impressive.
    Very impressive.

  10. ALingua Says:

    OBAMA WAS …
    OBAMA WAS CONSIDERED INELIGIBLE FOR THE PRESIDENCY OF THE UNITED STATES DUE TO CRIMES OF DOCUMENTATION FORGERY.

    PLEASE CHECK OUT THE PLAINTIFF’S WEBSITE “”OBAMA CRIMES”"

    obamacrimes (DOT) com

    The bad wolf went to the grandma’s, but the victm would be AMERICA!

    Kind regards,

    Cristiano

  11. rmharman Says:

    Palin-shot FTW!
    Palin-shot FTW!

  12. inflames07 Says:

    LOL best thing I’ve …
    LOL best thing I’ve seen in a while.

  13. anoos3k Says:

    Supreme quality …
    Supreme quality writing, i must say man!! :D
    but u need to work on ur flow :P still awesome!
    Cheese FTW!!

  14. vpew Says:

    this video is …
    this video is definitely awesome. I love your politico stuff, keep rockin!

  15. PresidentJackFord Says:

    Mike Huckabee is …
    Mike Huckabee is pretty funny. Great rap though. lol!

  16. FreakinFresno Says:

    James you crack me …
    James you crack me up! CNN by 30 dude, go ahead sell you soul!

  17. spewker Says:

    you da bomb, james
    you da bomb, james

  18. firedestruction11220 Says:

    i am 26 and on my …
    i am 26 and on my wedding day my fionse strangled me with my vail? if u do not paist this on 4 vidios in 14444 mins you will be strangled by your bf or bff in 7 days

  19. pavle1334 Says:

    DONT READ THIS …
    DONT READ THIS Cause It Really Works. YOU WILL GET KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BY THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE. TOMORROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. HOWEVER IF YOU DONT POST THIS COMMENT TO AT LEAST 3 VIDEOS YOU WILL DIE WITHIN 2 DAYS. NOW UV STARTED READIN DIS DUNT STOP THIS IS SO SCARY. SEND THIS OVER TO 5 VIDEOS IN 143 MINUTES WHEN UR DONE PRESS F6 AND UR CRUSHES NAME WILL APPEAR ON THE SCREEN IN BIG LETTERS. THIS IS SO SCARY Cuz IT ACTUALLY WORKS THIS reaLLY WORKS

  20. elliottfour Says:

    You should’ve …
    You should’ve received first but that’s what happens when you rhyme your opponents name around drunks and they laugh, what else will they remember:)

  21. marchennessey Says:

    NICE
    NICE

  22. NicoleOlle Says:

    HAHAHAHAH THAT WAS …
    HAHAHAHAH THAT WAS FREAKIN AMAZING XDDD
    I swear i was laughing for like 5 min. after hahahaha XD

  23. koljiUSTASE Says:

    You are the f***ing …
    You are the f***ing MASTER….
    This was great…

  24. msstressa Says:

    You were robbed! …
    You were robbed! Most of the other contestants were funny like cancer is funny.

  25. aaah454 Says:

    لا إله إلا الله …
    لا إله إلا الله محمد رسول الله

    والله متم نوره ولو كره الكافرون

    Islam fo live

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